The countless things to which you owe your existence

I sometimes ponder how many things had to happen in order for me to exist. There are countless things that happen on this planet every day, of course, but some of these things absolutely positively had to happen in order for me (and you) to exist. In this post, I will discuss a few of these contingencies that had to happen in order for you to be reading this post. This is a tale permeated with sex and violence.



The correct egg needed to meet the correct sperm or else we wouldn't have been born. Given that there are more than 40 million sperm in each ejaculation, it was almost mathematically impossible for the "correct" sperm to get to my mother's egg on the "correct" day. But for that sperm and egg to have met, my parents needed to meet. And they needed to court each other in such a way that they, to at least some minimal degree, liked each other on the "correct" evening.

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The Lack of Free Play is Damaging our Children

"In many ways, America has given up on childhood, and on children." From the NYT, it's really getting difficult to find happy well adjusted young adults because we've (their caretakers) deprived them of many opportunities to attempt (and sometimes, to fail) to form relationships all on their own. Too much well-intentioned parent-structured play time is making for anxiety-ridden and depressed young adults.  They are struggling to figure out this alien-seeming thing of learning to form meaningful relationships, and it's driving more than a few of them to suicide.

What follows is anecdotal, but I am sure it could be established statistically: When I and many of my well-adjusted peers were kids, we left the house in the morning and we played all day. We came home when it started to get dark.  When we disagreed with each other, there were no adults to adjudicate the differences. We did that ourselves and we figured it out well enough often enough. We didn't have ANY adults telling us how to play. No one arranged play dates for us. We chose who to spend time with. If another kid was a pain in the ass, we avoided him/her, and he/she would need to learn make adjustments in order to get back in our social graces. Same thing for me, of course. If any of us offended someone, we didn't run to our parents to negotiate with their parents; rather, we needed to go to the fear and figure something out on our own (though many parents did provide a good listening ear in the evening).
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Out-of-Network Medical Insurance Hell

What Happens When You Don’t Pay a Hospital Bill? This article in the Atlantic gives detailed accounts. Every day you wake up not needing a hospital, you need to give gratitude. Where are all of the free-marketers when this rampant out-of-network bullshit is destroying people's lives. The government is not causing this, but it could offer solutions. Desperate and unconscious people WITH health insurance should not be unwittingly signing up for lives of harassment and economic destitution when they enter hospitals seeking medical care.

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The Opposite of Multitasking

I'm really enjoying the articles and podcasts of Farnam Street, where Shane Parrish is the writer/host. Here is an important lesson he offers: "Learning How to Think: The Skill No One Taught You." This lesson is to avoid multi-tasking. Researchers have found that the more one multi-tasks, the less effective one is at learning. When you multitask, you are always restarting, never going down to the next level. I want to be someone unique, at least sometimes. I love the good ideas of others. I swim in them most of my hours on the planet. But at least once in a while, I’d like to step out of the echo-chamber and contribute something original to the world. What I have found is that when I'm distracted by phone calls or texts even once every 15 minutes, I never develop high quality ideas of my own. That's why I need to shelter myself in blocks of many hours when I'm writing. At least 3 hours at a time. That's when good things happen. On this point, Shane cites to "Solitude and Leadership," an essay by William Deresiewicz:

I find for myself that my first thought is never my best thought. My first thought is always someone else’s; it’s always what I’ve already heard about the subject, always the conventional wisdom. It’s only by concentrating, sticking to the question, being patient, letting all the parts of my mind come into play, that I arrive at an original idea. By giving my brain a chance to make associations, draw connections, take me by surprise. And often even that idea doesn’t turn out to be very good. I need time to think about it, too, to make mistakes and recognize them, to make false starts and correct them, to outlast my impulses, to defeat my desire to declare the job done and move on to the next thing.
This doesn't mean that exciting original ideas don't sometimes come out of no where, like a flash. Nietzsche commented on this in The Gay Science, 381. "The Question of being understandable": [More . . . ]

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